HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
