do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
