I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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