I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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