he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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