Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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