I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
