Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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