I'm pants shitting drunk right now
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
