By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
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Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
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would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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