I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
