I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
