i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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