Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
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I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
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I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize