some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We need to get me chipped asap
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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