she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
