Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
