were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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