she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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