I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
