so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
