I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
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Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
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I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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