evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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