why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I party with great urgency now.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
