NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
