wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
