I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
