i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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