Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
