help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I will be naked everywhere
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
