I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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