And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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