5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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