No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
