Pants 0. Shit 1.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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