Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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