I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
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I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
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Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize