last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So many bounce houses so little time
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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