Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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