The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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