so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
