there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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