On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
