Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
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She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
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I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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