How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
In other news, I just burned my penis
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
