Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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