she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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