waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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