im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
