he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
