And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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