Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize