Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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