A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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