i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I need to calm my uterus...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
