Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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