No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
If its not for food we ain't going out.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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