the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed