Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
cat food counts as protein by the way
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..