My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.