Do you still have your period?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
