pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
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idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
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Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.