I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
