Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
