Will you blow on my dice?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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