look no pants
Can Purell be used as lube?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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